Girls! The most awesome living beings on earth you will never understand. Neither you shouldn’t judge them on a particular incident, nor can you ignore them without understanding. Girls never follow a particular pattern or behavior to take them for granted. Each girl is unique in her own personality and behavior. You have to remember that a girl will never allow anyone to take her comfortable position. Usually it’s impossible for anyone to understand them in detail, but studies say that girls are soft in nature and follow a similar pattern when they fall in love.
Source: Sanjaygohil.co.uk
Girls usually believe in trust, love and care from every person whom they show interest on. Each girl searches for a better and better product (things), whereas each guy searches for a better and better woman. Though this statement is my own, I’m not really sure where you heard it before. These days I’m more bothered about the traditional arranged marriages in India. These marriages are well arranged by the both bride and bridegroom families, but the point is how many of them are happy now? Are all girls who got married against their will are happy enough?
Many girls respect, love and care their parents from childhood. She will never allow anyone to take their place, no matter even if you are a lover, boyfriend or husband. There are millions of girls who love one and marry someone else. What could be the reason for this? Money? Fame? Wealth? Status? I’m not sure what it can be! I’ve observed many girls who suffer from a serious emotional blackmail from parents and relative families. You might think why am I coming to a conclusion that every family in India bend their girls freedom! Well, That’s the point! May be not all families are the same, but in some cases the girl herself might opt for a better option.
This doesn’t mean they are bad, arrogant, selfish or monsters. This simple means she can always adjust herself according to the situation. Sit back and think for a while! You might have at least one friend (girl) who loved someone and married someone else. I’m not trying to blame anyone, but I’m just trying to understand what made them to opt for a better option. If parents and relatives are the main reason to sacrifice your love life, then why aren’t you fighting back? Every country has a separate law to protect women for their liberty. Even India does! But why girls in India are not taking that bold step to fight for their loved ones? I know one of my close friend, who was in a relationship for more than 5 years with her childhood friend. Last year (Feb 2012) she got married to an NRI, and guess how everything changed.
Previously she used to call me up in the late nights and cry about her relationship fights and misunderstandings. Being her good friend, I was only able to console her, talk to that guy, and then used to settle the issue. Things didn’t quite go well as expected, which ended her up marrying a NRI from London. Everything changed so fast that she is already a mother of 3 months old baby now. She is extremely happy about her husband and a cute little girl. Now she doesn’t call me up for small fights, misunderstandings or anything else. But she always calls me to feel bad about that guy whom she left last year for certain reasons. Yes! She didn’t marry that guy whom she loved for more than 5 years. Reason? Family didn’t accept!
There was not even a single day that she didn’t talk about her husband with me! I always wonder why she is so happy about not being with the guy whom she loved the most! I felt she was cruel, selfish and hopeless for not fighting against her parents to get her love. Keeping this in mind for almost a year and half, I finally broke my silence and asked, Why did you do this? What made you to leave your loved one to marry a complete stranger? Her response was stunning enough to prove I might be wrong. This is what she replied to my questions!
Satish, We always have good and bad choices in our life. But when it comes to choosing a life partner, you always have to make sure that you don’t hurt your parents, relatives and future. Status is everything in today’s world! May it be a good job, proper arranged marriage, or something else. India is not a place where you get everything what you ask for! Especially Girls still don’t have that liberty and freedom to choose their loved ones! If we try to ask our parents about our love marriage, we get obvious results as expected. My parents said they will kill themselves if I marry anyone outside our religion or caste. For me they are everything! I’m her only daughter, and I cannot leave them like that. I tried to convince my parents a lot, but this time they abused me and locked me up for a week. I was told that I won’t be allowed to see them again in my entire life for going against them. I love my mom and dad so much that I cannot go against them! Also I cannot take a risk of going with a guy who doesn’t even have a secured job to feed me and my child. I know this is tough to take initially, but it’s okay. I sacrificed everything in my life. In just one year I understood my husband so much that he never complains or hurts me for anything! I’m happy Satish! I guess that love was not more than attraction!
Well, my expression was WTF! Then why did you spend 5 freaking years with this guy? I did my research to find this guy from a year. Trust me! I never saw him again on Facebook, WhatsApp, Orkut, Gtalk, or any other place where he used to exist! Where is this guy? What is he doing? No one can answer this question.
I seriously ask myself, WHY? I saw many girls who are extremely happy after their arranged marriage, despite of a love failure! But what are these guys doing? Where do they go? With a lot of anxiety and excitement, I started to ask many of my friends who broke up for simple reasons. I’ve listed the top 10 reasons why girls leave their boyfriends and lovers to marry a complete stranger. I’ve never been into relationship myself, but looking at these things, I really don’t think it is a good option to step into without much understanding! Seriously!
What I’ve observed from past few years is really surprising. Few Girls are really strong when it comes to their parents pride and respect. Doesn’t matter how much you love a girl, always make sure to understand that her parents are the most important people in her life. If you are not respecting her family and emotions, then don’t expect much from her to be with you. Many Guys are usually emotional in Love and weak in expressing things! This goes worse when you are emotionally weak and having a strong girl friend who loves their family more than you. Be smart in selecting your loved ones!
Reasons Why Girl’s Don’t Marry Their Loved Ones!
- The guy is not bold enough to tell their parents about their love.
- The guy was not earning enough money to keep her happy.
- The guy was extremely annoying and sentimental
- The guy was very arrogant, rude and behave abnormal with her parents
- The guy is cheating or having more than 1 relationship at a time.
- The girl was not able to convince her parents.
- The girl was forced emotionally to forget her loved ones
- The guy who never used to respect her emotions or feelings.
- The girl loves their parents so much that she can’t hurt them.
- The girl was never looking for a serious relationship
It is very obvious that there are good girls and bad boys, and bad girls and good boys. Whatever it is, always make sure to respect your relationship in any moment of life. Girls have to remember that there are still some guys who can do anything for your happiness. Find them and give your best to make the world a better place.
You or your friends might fall in any of the above categories, but what makes them happy at end is what they choose. Luckily I have many good friends who understand how to deal with type of situations. According to my friend Rohit,
Girls are too good to leave their lover behind for their happiness – Rohit Nampelli
May be true, But I’m not really sure about this statement! A guy should always respect a girl in every possible way. Because they are the only people who teach you free lessons in your life! Similarly girls! Be smart in choosing your life partner! 🙂
Seriously, worth reading!!!
A complete fact is written in detail.
Thanks Hari Priya! I’m glad you liked it! 🙂
I am actually glad I came across this blog of yours…This is a great write-up and a great topic in itself…
Thanks Soham! Keep Coming! 🙂
Worth reading !!
Thanks Shivam! 🙂
Must read article for boys so that they can understand the girls in a better way.
That’s the whole point! 🙂 Girls are good, bad, neutral! They reply and respond the way you treat them! 🙂
Hi Satish,
This is an amazing article!!
BUT.. I see many families are asking their child about his/her love before going for an arranged marriage!!
In my circle, whether my friends or relatives, all of them who married in last few years are mostly lovers!!
In last 4-5 years, I came across so many marriages and about 70% of them are love marriage 😀
Isn’t it amazing? 🙂
That’s awesome man! Rarely any community accepts that many love marriages in India. I guess we are progressing in a better way! 🙂 Encourage people who genuinely want to be together! 🙂
Hats OFF Satish , Well Written The true Fact about The Love Life Relationship, I m very Happy When I read your post, Seriously i m Speechless , Mention All The Real Facts . 😀
Thanks Aman! I just wrote what I experienced with my friends 🙂 I’m highly motivated the way you guys commented on a new blog! 🙂
Awesome……..true story. ..
Thanks Mallika! 🙂 The article was never intended to be anyone in particular! 🙂
Wow, finally someone came up with rational thinking. Satish, that’s an interesting perspective. Most of the factors which you mentioned are visible one’s but there are invisible factors which nobody dares to speak out.
Women are good at keeping things to themselves. Especially in India, they are not allowed to speak their mind. A fear is invested and built in their heart. Not many people are matured enough to understand what kind of relationship they are getting into. When reality hits, realization follows. There might be many reasons leading to break up. But women are practical beings, they give it time, they wait, in the end if they had a chance they go for it which in most of the cases “arranged marriage” or higher education or job.
You can say “why the hell they cant break it? or why cant they be honest?”
As I said before women are practical thinkers. You know how men react to things which they don’t like especially in India, either they hurt other person or hurt themselves or make violent decisions which effects their lives terribly. So the reasons for not breaking up can be,
-fear of consequences
– not wanting to hurt the other person
-not sure of their own judgement
the rest are the which you mentioned.
I came up with these reasons out of observation, feel free to disagree and correct me if I am not.
Thanks Sneha! India is certainly a place where women can’t speak out much. I know that many traditions in India doesn’t allow love marriages or speak out their language at will. But that’s fine! The lady who thinks should speak out should start making a difference from now! Things will never be the same!
Usually guys get too much involved in things which are not really that important. This might screw up their personal lives more than worse. Girls are practical thinkers as you said! But as said earlier, there are always good, bad and neutral people in any part of the country. Some girls should start developing the “JUST DO IT” attitude in love life also! Even the guys parents are emotional, sentimental, strict and traditional. But what I mean is, when a guy can convince his parents and decide to go with the girl, why can’t she?
Will a girl be ready to kill her attitude, ego and self respect to bend her neck to a committed one? I would say certainly not! 🙂
Well, a contradictory statement there. Why can a girl break the chain and get into a relationship, but not do the same to keep up her word ??? This is merely an opportunist behavior, none else.
For all those who broke their promises and married as a sacrifice for the families — who the hell are you fooling?? In the face — timid opportunists, period.
Seriously Nice one bro!!!!!
Thank you Saikanth! 🙂
Very true and well written…
kitna acha likha ja sakta tha, use se badhia likha hain….
God Bless you and continue working…. 🙂
That was an awesome article and i’m expecting few more articles like this from you. You really mentioned each and every facts of love and women.
Well, a contradictory statement there. Why can a girl break the chain and get into a relationship, but not do the same to keep up her word nd marry the guy she loved ??? This is merely an opportunist behavior, none else.
For all those who broke their promises and married as a sacrifice for the families — who the hell are you fooling?? In the face — timid opportunists, period.
TOTALLY AGGREEE ..!!!
love to read
Amazing
But still I believe Love Relation between Parents are more valuable
Statement which i felt incomplete in the article is about the guys after going through such consequences. I still was waiting for that to be completed somewhere. Just to add on it. A guy, after coming out of a serious relationship involves himself, in XYZ activities that either of two can happen.
– He’ll be a waste
– He’ll be successful
It’s very difficult to put things back the way they are or better. But one who manages to does that can surely get a feel of being a winner.
I seriously loved your post word by word. The truth that is prevailing in today’s environment, no girl will bear the emotional blackmail of her parents. Only the guys suffer a lot. When you analyze how a guy’s life goes after a breakup like this, it’s a big question mark… Probably those guys may marry a girl who had to breakup for her parents and this guy treats her like a princess… Life Cycle of Love Marriages.. LOL 😛
great article : )
Hi Satish,
Nice article. your rational thinking is seen in your write up. very soon the scenario will be changed in India.
Rgds
Gopal
Hi Satish,
Nicely written, was about to cry. 🙂 The reason of not going against the parents as you say may be Girls love them, and don’t want to hurt them. Girls thinks that their parents leave them forever, she won’t get their love again but what about the boy she love. May be the boy will stay sad but how long? One day time will heal – She thinks. But the same thing apply with parents.. time will heal them why don’t they think that… Love of parents and Love of boy is always being comparison-ed.
Love of parents wins…….
I would say one thing to all — First don’t love — If you do Don’t leave it at any cost…
BRO , its not about who’s loves win ..!! love is never about wining .! please understand that .!
Seriously the facts are true, its happening on our nation. If you not have courage to bring your love to wedding don’t prefer love. Its insane and such a stupid only do it.
Well written satish ,i have been across the same situation right now ,as i read down each line tears rolled down. Things just came in my mind in a sudden that my loved one had made for me .i often feel strange evn about the damn f*** society if boys thinks the same and or does the same with girl he would be treated as coward,not a trust worth guy,bla bla bla , Y people dont understand that we guys look damn tough but seriously sensitive than a woman when it comes to woman they play around acts being so kind caring but they r toughest ones who can just forget things that has been happening for years what they need is love to a certain age and secured life by the time they get married but we assw*** leave our damn career and roam behind them saying sorry n saving our mess bills for the damn freaking gifts to cherish them
really itz a nice article.
Nice article. .i agree with lots of your points and disagree with many. .my only question is a gal is asked to sacrifice her love for a complete stranger. .why cant parents stand up for their daughter and face the world? If standing up for your daughter in a decision which might be the most important decision of her lyf is not possible, y give birth to gals? Its the worst thing you can ask your daughter to sacrifice. .caste. .it will eat all of us one day. .if you are a parent please dont make your kids go through this. .d feeling is sick and it is disgraceful on your path to do it with your kids. .if you do not have the guts to stand up for your kids do not give birth to them and decide their future according to your speculations !!
In india there is diversity of culture, religion and origin and customs. So not everybody can marry whom they like as they will not be practically compatiable to each others families and expectations. as youngsters, many of us are hasty in making decesions and reckless in love and are ready to risk at the cost of family welfare.
As a result when the time comes to face the truth.. Divorce is what takes place. Hence better to go with the peace behind marriage arranged by the parents as love can happen with anyone , anytime.
Remember, each one got parents arranged by nature and you ultimately loved them since you were born. You did not chose them Love them
It might offend many but this is my p.o.v.
Thanks
gr8 writing ..!!! i liked your blog , even shared it in Fb , TW and all ..!! somehow you convinced me that girl will be happy if she does arrange marriage even after strong relationship .!! But after a day or something few question started rising in my mind . Please can you answer that ..!!!
1. I dont understand this that y a girl who is knowing that her parents wont agree will go and continue releationship for so long ..?
I mean i know what girl my parents dnt want .!
It wont like that a girl wont be knowing what his cast , social and financial status is ?
2. I dont belive that she wont have fights with guy whom she has done arrange marriage , Unless she has no rights to put her opinion on things !!
I mean it a fact that no two ppl will have same opinion on everything ..! and also the time you are mentioning she is not currently having fights is a what i can say “Honeymoon time- Jab galli bhi payari lagti hai ” .
Also no one is going to say i am not happy with this guy whom i have married , and i was more happy with my B.F ..!! that too to her x-B.f friend …!!!
3. I 100% that a girl will never love anyone else more than her parents , and what most of the excuse girl would be making will be she cant hurt her parents ..!! Ok Agreed , but why she is thinking now ,I mean i am sure her parents would have hurt when they have came to know that her daughter is dating some guy ,,,!!
I can go on and on with 100 other points which questions her decision ,
I just want to say that dont try to give sympathy to coward .! I am not saying that in breaking up there is only girls fault , there is 100% GUYS FAULT ALSO but Agar Bhagna hi tha , jukhna hi tha aur mann hi lena tha that india mai essa hi hotta hai , to ussi rule ko follow kar ke pyar hi nahi karna tha ..!!!
Girl will leave guy for a arrange marriage cos she is week not cos she is not emotional ..!!
Nice article satish, i could see myself in it ..actually i am verge of facing the same . keep going
Hi Satish,
Thanks for this article, this is very similar to my past life situation . I’m a guy who had gone through these all – trying to convince the girl’s parents despite their numerous emotional blackmails to their daughter, locking her up, forcing her to quit her IT job and many. A couple of months later she married an NRI & flew far away, I was mentally ill for a month & it took me an year to get back to my normal life meeting up friends, having fun after Office. Things have started becoming normal from past couple of months.
And I did try to know the situations the girl had gone through before getting married, It was very hurting to know that she had to go through a lot of emotional pain dealing with all the parents drama, acting as if everything was ok before the relatives and not being allowed to invite any of the friends.
I would like to say to your readers that it’s not always a mistake of a Boy’s or a Girl’s. I wish the parents mentality change which might happen all of a sudden in a Country like India, only hope is that all the educated men & women who will be parents tomorrow do not fall into this Group of Typical Indian Parents who only look for money, caste, religion and their status.
Great article. The whole concept of marriage and living together as a couple is based on attributes like “trust”, “understanding” and not to forget “adjustment”. Everybody is unique. He/She has his/her own tastes. Past is something that has long back left our lives, there is no real purpose or reason thinking and crying about it. MOVE ON. What ever may be the reason i believe Relationship is not a joke and it will never be (most love stories are jokes these days.) . Trust your partner instead pulling the strings of his/her past. I am sure you will have a happy life. what you have today forms the basis of tomorrow not what happened yesterday.
Excellent article Satish. As a victim of one such girl, all I can say is it could not have been written better. Kudos to you dude.
Dear feiends, am exactly going through the same situation please advise me what to do and convince my girl friend to be bonded together with the loved one.
I am 27 years old girl who cannot convince my parents about the guy I love for the past 4 years. We have been loving for 12 years and he is a muslim. We are not able to come out of this. I have a younger sister too. I am forced to leave my loved one. I am just hopeless of my future. I am not sure if I should even marry. I feel like a cursed soul. I am very much focussed in my career but the societal pressures are too much to bear. If there is someone who can help me out I would be happy.
This article made my day …. 🙂
Hai satish,
Its very Gud analysis About love life Today.Moreover Every thing happens with zero Result which seems a new tradition started by lovers in the name sake of love.
I wud like to say Few reasons And i will answer…after your responce…!
1.yes..!girls have Too much of love and respect to their parents even the lover can fuckoff anywhere.
Q.They are sensibile in what way to parents?
A.
2.Really boys will love(truly)…why the way they were not in deep relation with their parents as girls dooo…?
A.
3.one of the most imp thing..Really a guy left by a girl, Dies Every min in His whole life..not even want to be with their friends.He will be isloated by Himself or by even common friends.Why…!
A.
4.Dear satish,
Girl will thinks abt the guy she has hurted…!!!Crazy..Its the thing always happens..really,Only chance to maintain frindship with common friends.Every body shud feel pity on girl….?
check..Ask her..you can directly contact him..as you will get information How he Will be…?
Simple answr…you will get Frm her..!
1.I Will get feelings if i see even his photo.
2.I hurted him alot….god Struggling me Killing inside…
3. I pray always god,he will get good life partner not like me.Every min he shud be happy..!
thanks
mahesh
I need honest sensitive good & us citizenship girl to marriage.
Very true Mr . SATISH well said and true … but I love my guy so much just coz im a divorced and my guy is also a divorcee and he stays away from Mumbai just Coz caste issues and long distance and I’m a adopted girl of my parents can’t hurt them and can’t leave this guy also …. Its like whenever at home we have arguments between parents my mom says no u have to listen to us only coz v have given u our name and where v say there u must marry … or else u will b thrown out of house …. I’m really worry and I can’t b happy whr my parents and I can’t leave them and marry my guy …. want their blessings too …